But to me, acknowledging that such a DEVIL exists amidst us is a neccessity. It exists right here, in educated, middle class,upper middle class homes
Your latest episode on Domestic Violence was an honest attempt to understand this grave issue which has enjoyed the tacit support of more than half of India's population.(Nearly all Indian males their parents endorse domestic abuse of any form as valid and accepted).Your FB and Twitter handles are testimony to his fact as well. I am an MBA from a reputed Indian institute and had worked for over 7 yrs when I got married to another similarly "well-qualified" Indian man.It did not help that the marriage was a love-arranged types and both families belong to a similar social strata.My abuse had started ahead of the actual marriage - but was more emotional and less physical in nature. Marriage just got more excuses to shift gears and when my husband's alcohol and drug abuse, my isolation, curbs on working, dressing, food, social interactions, family phone calls etc did not suffice- things went on to pushing, bullying, arm-twisting,kicking and banging head against wall. On the third such instance in May 2008,I called in Mumbai POlice -Oshiwara PS and complained, but my complaint was never lodged as a FIR as the police said it was the first time i had complained and if I complained atleast2 -3 more times in the future , then it could be a case for FIR. A family friend spent 2-3 days helping me run from pillar to post across difft police subjudices across Chembur, Ohiwara, Andheri, Crwford , Police HQ, South Mumbai - and my parents gave up hope and called me back to Delhi , where I am now based. NOBODY had heard, and knew anything about the DV Act or the person responsible. Its been more than 5 years since the incident and a lot is known, debated and evolved in the DV Act. I welcome the initiative, though how and where to reach the responsible people is something of a mystery even today. Though I am since divorced (mutualy - as I didnt want to elongate my misery- and without any alimony/financial support from the man's side) I still feel, I could have detected the signs of abuse much earlier had I been aware of such a malady; my parents gave me full support and help me heal emotionally, financially and physically -but not many other women are blessed this way. Also, had I been aware of such a problem, I would have taken my self defence classes seriously - more as a defence rather than an offence technique. Ofcourse, being financially independent goes a long way and education had its postives. But to me, acknowledging that such a DEVIL exists amidst us is a neccessity. It exists right here , in educated, middle class,upper middle class homes - even parents with daughters of their own allow their sons to degrade anothers daughter. All this in the land of KALI/DURGA/SATI.